Many marriages are ending due to the effects of pornography. The marriages that are staying together after a pornography addiction are spending years to heal and rebuild trust. Husbands are being trapped in this powerful temptation. Many men see no way out of porn. Many women are hopeless to even try to help their husbands.
We just got back from our family vacation. It was really nice to relax and spend time together. I had very limited internet access while I was away, which made it even more relaxing because I was able to do “nothing” and rest!
When I was able to read the comments on the last post, I thought of a few things. First, I was reminded that there are many wives who are deeply hurting. Like I do many times, they feel alone and scared. They have no idea what to do. Then, I thought of the main reason I started this site. It is and always will be:
Hope and Healing for Hurting Wives
I have had so many various emotions after discovering my husband was addicted to pornography three years ago.
But, the emotion that I feared the most—because it had total control of me, was anger.
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If you are here for the first time, please check out Restoring Marriages Bible Study: Day 1. If you’ve been following this site, please take a moment to see the new page Feedback from Readers.
1 Peter 4:8 says
And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”
It’s very important to discuss protecting our marriages. One mistake that I made is I never thought I would have to protect my marriage. I thought our marriage was so wonderful and it would always be happy. I never stopped to think that outside forces could destroy what was sacred inside. I’m sure many of you could say the very same thing. And I think most married people will admit that they could have prevented certain things. We don’t have to dwell on that because we can’t change anything from the past. However, we can change the future. And that is why we must take the time to protect our marriage.
This is a post and prayer written by my husband:
As our weekend starts and we venture through the world going to work (if maybe we have a second job or work on the weekends), getting a cup of coffee at a local coffee shop, picking up supplies for a weekend project from the local hardware or auto-parts store, etc., Satan will try and get us. He wants us to look longer at what we shouldn’t be looking at, give a second glance to someone we shouldn’t, and take a step away from God. He wants us to build upon what we shouldn’t be thinking about in our mind and use those thoughts throughout the day. He wants us to talk too much, joke too much, and say things to other women other than our wife that our wife and our God would consider flirtatious.
If you are just starting, please check out Restoring Marriages Bible Study: Day 1.
Psalm 147:3 (NKJV)
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Today’s bible study is a day to meditate on the verse. The way that we can meditate on this particular verse is to first read it a few times. Next, take a turn to each describe how this verse speaks to your heart. Either husband or wife can go first. Today’s verse is such an intimate verse. When we hear this verse, we usually think of something immediately. We think of that wound deep inside of us that seems unable to ever be mended. We usually feel so much pain in this wound. There may be many years of suffering. It might seem like it’s been there forever.
If you are just starting, please check out Restoring Marriages Bible Study: Day 1.
Ephesians 6:10-18 (NKJV)
The Armor of God
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,[a] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints
Husbands and wives must start each day seeking God. Each day brings about its own struggles. We do not know what evil things will be thrown at us. We do not know what difficulties will arise in our life. We each have things that we struggle with internally. Without God guiding us through our entire day, we can have a difficult time getting through any of our trials.
If you are just starting, please check out Restoring Marriages Bible Study: Day 1.
Psalm 30:2 (NKJV):
O Lord, my God, I cried out to You, and You healed me.
When our marriage is being restored, we greatly need a healer. We need the One who will come into our lives and mend the broken places. There are so many areas that need the miraculous touch of our Savior. These areas are in our marriage, but also in ourselves. That is why today’s verse is about God’s healing.
If you are just starting, please check out Restoring Marriages Bible Study: Day 1.
Psalm 33:4 (NKJV)
For the word of the Lord is right, and all His work is done in truth.
Today we are going to discuss truth. Specifically-God’s truth. Truth has to do with a lot of other things. Truth can mean openness, faithfulness, or trust. If your marriage is hurting because of pornography use or unfaithfulness, truth probably means a lot to you. Most commonly, when one spouse is unfaithful, it is a hidden lie. And when our husbands are deeply addicted to pornography, it is usually something that was hidden their whole life. Now, everything is known and exposed. Now we have the truth. This truth is such a difficult thing. It is crushing. It is suffocating. It can consume our whole marriage and life if we let it. But, God can show us how truth can be a blessing too.
When we go through a crisis, we often forget about being healthy. We are so caught up in our emotions and stress that we make things worse by forgetting how to take care of ourselves. I can see a clear distinction in the way I handled my marriage stress when I was healthy versus unhealthy. I am not just talking about our body being healthy, although this is very important. I am talking about our mind and soul being healthy too. What makes this so difficult is that when we are right in the middle of this stressful time, the last thing we tend to think about is how “healthy” we are. But, it makes a really big difference in how you feel and how you react to the stresses around you. This is why I want to share with you some important ways to stay healthy even when you’re in the middle of a marriage crisis.
Hopeful Wife Today 