Restoring Marriages Bible Study Day 8: Cleansing Our Minds

Marriage Restored

If you are just starting the Restoring Marriages Bible Study, you can see Day One here.

Cleansing Our Minds

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy- meditate on these things. (NKJV)

Today we are going to talk about cleansing our minds. One thing that I always hear from marriages is their worry about having pure minds. Many wives are very concerned with the thoughts that remain in their husbands’ minds from watching pornography.

Even when our husbands actively turn away from pornography and lust, the memories are still there. This is a very sad consequence of watching pornography. Once you watch it, it doesn’t leave you for a very long time.

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One Wife’s Question

One Wifes Question

I recently received this question from a wife:

There was recently an episode last week in which my husband lied to me. We have accountability talks each week where we discuss struggles, temptations, etc.
During this time he reported that he had been tempted to look at a provocative picture online but didn’t because he loves me and knows that it is not worth it. I had a feeling to check his internet history and found that he had actually looked at the image. I am struggling with how to resolve the issue of lying and how we can work together to be more open, honest and also what we can do to set boundaries. He admitted he lied but says it is because he wanted to avoid my reaction. I was hoping you could give some godly advice.

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Letting Go of Anger

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I have had so many various emotions after discovering my husband was addicted to pornography three years ago.

  • I had times of sadness and depression that would last for days. I was often confused and hopeless.
  • Then there were times when I was thankful and happy that God led me to this discovery. I was joyful and blessed that my marriage was being restored.
  • I was excited, at times, that my husband was becoming a new man.

But, the emotion that I feared the most—because it had total control of me, was anger.

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Stopping Generational Sin

Stopping Generational Sin

I had a really nice childhood. I have to say that I truly love my dad. My dad never introduced lust into our home. I never really knew how much of a struggle lust is for men. My father treated me with respect my whole life and he still does. He’s been faithful to my mom his whole life. He never had pornography of any kind in our house. We didn’t have the internet or any adult channels on TV. I always assumed that men had complete control over this sin. I thought they easily chose whether to partake in it or not. Additionally, I never thought it was something that nice, Godly men would consume in secret. I guess I was pretty naive.

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A Prayer for Peace

Peace

This is a verse and a prayer for peace for a wife who is suffering from her husband’s pornography use.

John 14:27 says

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. (NKJV)

Dear God,

I come to You for peace. I know Your promise says that You will give me Your peace. You will not give to me as the world does. I am believing in You for that dear God. The world has left me alone and doubting Your presence. I do not have any peace at all. My heart is unsettled. My emotions are overbearing. Peace right now seems impossible.

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My Personal Story: Being Intimate

SharingMyStory

A huge roadblock that came about during our restoration was being intimate. I am not talking about cuddling and holding hands. Although that could be troublesome as well. I am talking about sexual intimacy. There were a couple different factors that made this such an enormous problem. I think it’s really important to share this part of my story because many wives might be going through the same thing. I also get e-mails that specifically ask about this aspect. I also am sharing this because it is known that pornography interferes so much with intimacy in marriage. There are devastating consequences for both husbands and wives. It is truly sorrowful. However, if we fight through this time and rely on God, things can turn around!

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My Husband is Tempted

My Husband is Tempted

My husband has been overcoming a lust and pornography addiction in the past three and a half years. He had this addiction for most of his life. There are times and situations that he is greatly tempted. Currently, he faces one of the worst situations at his second job. There are just so many temptations there. I would like to explain them all and also discuss how we work together to help this unavoidable circumstance.

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Trust in the Lord

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On this blog, there’s a lot to say about trust. I talk about it all the time. The comments bring it up. Also, most e-mails from wives talk about trust. We usually talk about trust pertaining to our husband. However, today I want to talk about trusting in God. Proverbs 3:5-6 says,

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. (NKJV)

Do you believe that?

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Prayer for Healing

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Maybe you have just found out your husband watches pornography. Or maybe you have known about this for a very long time and you are suffering alone in your marriage. Perhaps your husband has repented and is well on his way to living for God, but you are still hurting from the betrayal. Whatever your specific situation might be, if you are hurting please know that God can heal you.

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