1 Peter 4:8 says
And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”
It’s very important to discuss protecting our marriages. One mistake that I made is I never thought I would have to protect my marriage. I thought our marriage was so wonderful and it would always be happy. I never stopped to think that outside forces could destroy what was sacred inside. I’m sure many of you could say the very same thing. And I think most married people will admit that they could have prevented certain things. We don’t have to dwell on that because we can’t change anything from the past. However, we can change the future. And that is why we must take the time to protect our marriage.
Please read 1 Peter 4:8 together. This verse explains that we must have love for each other and that love will cover sins. This verse can help our marriages in two ways. The ending helps us with the past. We know that our love for our spouse will help us to forgive and work toward restoring our marriage. This is a wonderful verse to meditate on when we are having trouble moving on. We have to remind ourselves that the past cannot be changed and we must hope for the future.
The first part of the verse can help us with today and the future. We are to have fervent love for our spouse. This means that we actively love each other. In our marriage, this love can mean taking action. Since my marriage was almost destroyed and dead from pornography and other sins, I have become very active about protecting it. I decided a few years ago that I would no longer sit back and watch things destroy what I have with my husband. We chose to take some drastic measures. I would like to share some of things my husband and I did to ensure that we were protecting our marriage. Some of these might work for you or you might have other things that speak to your heart. It’s important to remember that we did these things out of fervent love for each other. We did not take steps to protect our marriage out of guilt, hatred, anger, unforgiveness, or any other hurtful emotions. We did these things for the love we have for each other. We wanted to restore our marriage and make sure that pornography or unfaithfulness did not come near again.
One of the first things we did was read the book Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect it together. This book helped us so much by giving us a basic guideline on how we should interact with other people. It also helped me to understand more about the temptations my husband was going through. I will do a future review of the whole book, but for now I just wanted to state how helpful it was to read. It was especially helpful for my husband because he had never had specific “hedges” before in our marriage.
Another thing that we did to protect our marriage was to install Covenant Eyes on all computers, tablets, and phones. This has helped my husband to think about what websites he goes to. It especially helped him on his phone which he had been using to frequently view pornography and then delete it. This is something that has guarded the whole family. Now that my children are getting older, I know I will keep it forever.
The most important thing that my husband and I did to protect our marriage was to read the Bible, talk, and pray over our marriage every day. This helped us so much because we were planning a time when we could connect each day. During this time, we ask God to protect our marriage from any sin and outside temptations. We also talked so much about our struggles and grew so close to God and each other. I write about this all the time because it is just so very important. I can’t describe how much of a difference it can make for your marriage.
One of the most crucial things that helped my husband to stop viewing all pornography was to go to sleep at the same time. Most of the time my husband looked for pornography late at night when everyone was sleeping. This is a common time when men are tempted. It is really important when we are married to plan to go to sleep almost always at the same time. So much talking and intimacy happens when we do this. And so much temptation is cut out automatically.
There are really so many ways that we can protect our marriage! Some other things may be having date nights and turning off inappropriate shows, movies, or commercials. For the end of today’s study, please take a few moments to read the verse and discuss what it means to you. Then make a plan of the most important ways you can protect your marriage. Then, start following the plan. It may look a lot different than how we protected our marriage. If you have other ideas that I didn’t mention, add them to the comments below. Other marriages will greatly benefit. I am praying for you as you seek to protect your marriage in love.
We thank You so much that You are giving us a second chance to protect our marriage. We love each other and we want to take steps to make sure that sin doesn’t easily slip in. We know that our marriage is worth so much to You, God, that You will guide us in how to protect it. There are times when we might have to give up something difficult. We might have to give up our feelings of bitterness and anger. We might have to give up our independence on the internet. But, God, it is all worth it so that our marriage can follow Your plan. We want our marriage to honor You. We also want to make our marriage sacred and special. Lord, please help us to do that. We ask You this In Jesus’ Name, Amen.