After ten years of marriage, I discovered that my husband had a secret addiction to pornography. I was completely clueless about this addiction. After knowing that I wanted to stay married to him, I knew we had a lot of work to do in our marriage. Before this discovery I realized that we were living in a fake relationship. In other words, we were two broken people that kept our true selves hidden. We thought we were in love and that we had a wonderful marriage. However, underneath this, we were both suffering.
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Along with rebuilding trust, one of the most difficult things to restore after your husband uses porn or acts unfaithfully is sexual intimacy. Most wives loose all desire to be with their husband after discovering he looks at porn. She feels betrayed, hurt, angry, and used. Most husbands have huge side effects from using so much porn. It seems daunting to think about returning to making love again after this type of crisis. After I found out my husband was addicted to pornography, I did so much research through Christ-centered websites. I read so many things on this topic. Many things were helpful and some things did not help quite so much for me. So, in this post, I just want to talk from my own experience. What I know is that three and a half years ago our marriage had basically nothing. It was empty and dead in every area and that includes sex. Now, God has brought us to a place where we have sexual intimacy like we never thought possible. I want to share with you how we got from one point to the other.