Sharing My Story: The Sad Truth

Sharing My Story: The Sad Truth

This is a part of our story that still hurts today. If I think about it I can still feel the deep pain from that day. However, I feel it’s important to share it. I’d like you all to know exactly how our story unraveled. God has brought redemption and restoration to our marriage. But, that doesn’t mean that we haven’t been through a lot of hurt. I think sometimes people assume that when we follow God, we shouldn’t feel hurt. That is not true at all. Most of you know that in marriage there is a lot of hurt. The saddest part to me is that my love story really was never true. I wasn’t my husband’s only one. And this truth can crush you with pain. It’s something that we experience as wives when our husbands choose this path. That is why we have to turn to something higher. That is why we have to trust in God and accept God’s love for us. He is the only one that can love us perfectly.

I just created a new page called Sharing My Story. It contains the links to each part of my story in order. I hope that makes it more convenient if you are just started reading or if you would like to read anything again.

Stopping Generational Sin

I had a really nice childhood. I have to say that I truly love my dad. My dad never introduced lust into our home. I never really knew how much of a struggle lust is for men. My father treated me with respect my whole life and he still does. He’s been faithful to my mom his whole life. He never had pornography of any kind in our house. We didn’t have the internet or any adult channels on TV. I always assumed that men had complete control over this sin. I thought they easily chose whether to partake in it or not. Additionally, I never thought it was something that nice, Godly men would consume in secret. I guess I was pretty naive.

A Weekend Prayer for Husbands

This is a post and prayer written by my husband:

As our weekend starts and we venture through the world going to work (if maybe we have a second job or work on the weekends), getting a cup of coffee at a local coffee shop, picking up supplies for a weekend project from the local hardware or auto-parts store, etc., Satan will try and get us. He wants us to look longer at what we shouldn’t be looking at, give a second glance to someone we shouldn’t, and take a step away from God. He wants us to build upon what we shouldn’t be thinking about in our mind and use those thoughts throughout the day. He wants us to talk too much, joke too much, and say things to other women other than our wife that our wife and our God would consider flirtatious.

My Husband is Tempted

My husband has been overcoming a lust and pornography addiction in the past three and a half years. He had this addiction for most of his life. There are times and situations that he is greatly tempted. Currently, he faces one of the worst situations at his second job. There are just so many temptations there. I would like to explain them all and also discuss how we work together to help this unavoidable circumstance.

Prayer for Husbands

This is a prayer for husbands written by my husband. It is based on the prayer that he has been praying each morning for two years. He uses this prayer to beat his struggle with lust and to stay away from all pornography. It is my hope that this prayer may help your husband too.

Draw Close: A Devotional for Couples Book Review

If you’ve been following this site, you know how much I love the devotional Draw Close by Willard & Joyce Harley. My husband and I have read quite a few devotionals in the past couple of years. However, this one has really spoken to us the most. Typically, devotionals have short, encouraging messages. Each day in this devotional is short, but it is filled with solid, Godly marriage wisdom. I was shocked at the insight this books gives to couples. I had a hard time letting go of how much I wish we had studied this book early on in our marriage.

Prayer for Love

This is a prayer for wives when they are suffering from their husband’s pornography use or unfaithfulness.

Dear God,

I am coming to you today to ask for Your love. I am desperately in need of it. Right now I feel so unloved. I feel unworthy. I don’t know if I ever really was loved or if I’ll ever be loved again.

My Personal Story: Making a Plan

Once my husband finally admitted to me that he did indeed have a problem with lust, I knew I could start to help him. I was obviously deeply sad and regretful that what I knew all along was true. However, I was more excited than sad. I knew that God was confirming what I already knew anyhow. It’s just hard to hear it, even when you know it’s true.

That’s why I decided to place my trust in God. I knew God was leading me in this direction. I knew completely that God wanted to use me to help my husband be open with me. I know I’ve said so many times that honesty and openness is truly my husband’s greatest struggle. And at that point it was obvious that it was coming between him and God and him and me.

So, I placed my hurt feelings in God’s hands. I tried with all my strength to just understand why lust and pornography is such a problem for men and not to only react personally. The truth is, we never will fully understand this struggle that men have. We just can’t. We’re not made that way. And we have to come to the point where we accept that we won’t understand it. We have to know that God understands it and that’s all that really matters.

An Update on My Marriage

I would like to start a new post in which I periodically update everyone on how our marriage is going. This is so that I can openly share in a very real way how we’ve grown and also what we’re still working on. I also would like to use these posts to encourage all of you to update us on your life in the comments below. I pray that doing this will join us as a community of wives that are here for each other. I pray that it also helps hurting wives let go of some of that pain by sharing it with others who truly care. I thank God for each one of you. I am praying for you as you fight for your marriage.

Additionally, please check out the new page Ask My Husband.

Restoring Marriages Bible Study: Day 6

If you are just starting, please check out Restoring Marriages Bible Study: Day 1.

Psalm 147:3 (NKJV)

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Today’s bible study is a day to meditate on the verse. The way that we can meditate on this particular verse is to first read it a few times. Next, take a turn to each describe how this verse speaks to your heart. Either husband or wife can go first. Today’s verse is such an intimate verse. When we hear this verse, we usually think of something immediately. We think of that wound deep inside of us that seems unable to ever be mended. We usually feel so much pain in this wound. There may be many years of suffering. It might seem like it’s been there forever.