My husband has been overcoming a lust and pornography addiction in the past three and a half years. He had this addiction for most of his life. There are times and situations that he is greatly tempted. Currently, he faces one of the worst situations at his second job. There are just so many temptations there. I would like to explain them all and also discuss how we work together to help this unavoidable circumstance.
The first temptation is that he works many nights alone. There are multiple computers. In the past, he failed by clicking on inappropriate links from sites such as ESPN and CNN. He also looked at adult images on eBay. Our plan to help with this is for him to bring his own personal computer to work. This computer has Covenant Eyes on it. He has made a personal vow to never use the work computers for personal use.
Another big temptation is that this job is in the middle of a busy city. His workplace has a wall of windows. There are bus stops right out the door. There are obviously women around at all times. This is especially difficult in the summer when many women are dressed in very minimal clothing. The way that he avoids this temptation is to not be idle. He purposefully does not stand and stare out the window. He knows that this would lead him to be lustful.
My husband was never a reader. He always enjoyed pop culture, technology, television, playing video games, and the internet. Well, I’m not sure how your husband is, but it was really difficult for my husband to find new things to do that were off of the internet and computer. Many pornography viewers are often big computer users. My husband was almost constantly using some type of screen. That was on his computers, his phone, tablet, and video game systems. After a year or so without pornography, my husband realized that he needed some new things to get involved in. He found that being on constant screens only led him to trouble in the end. One thing that he often has to resort to is reading. We definitely found out that there are books for everyone! He really did always hate to read! However, he was able to find many things that he enjoys on Amazon. He ends up getting a few old comic books, pop culture books, and fast reads. This helps him a lot at work. He always brings his bags of books so that he doesn’t have to be idle.
Working at a place with so many temptations has been difficult for our marriage. However, in this case, there is no alternative. I am a stay at home mom with four children and I wouldn’t give that up ever! In order for me to be at home, he has to work a second job two-three nights a week. There really isn’t another job that would pay him the same and work around his schedule of a first job, church, and events with the children.
We have concluded that God wants him to work there for several reasons. First, my husband has overcome lust so much by relying on God when he is working. He has really put his daily prayer and trust in God to mature. Second, this struggle has helped my husband so much with being open and honest with me. At first, he lied about many things. But, over time, he now openly comes to me with things. We actually talk and plan things out together. Third, we have prayed so much together for this specific situation. Fourth, I have learned that I have to trust my husband by trusting in God. It would be so easy to just keep our husbands home and away from all computers. But, that isn’t life. And that isn’t trusting God. We have to allow ourselves to have faith in our husbands if they are working against this struggle. We have to trust God that he can be healed of this.
Do we really believe that God can help our husbands overcome temptation? It is very, very difficult. We want to take control and believe what we want to believe. But, God has better for us. Yes, my husband is very tempted. And I would assume that yours is too. We can allow these struggles to drive us farther away from our husbands. Or, we can tell our husband that we would like to join their side. We can actually help our husbands fight this temptation in such an amazing way. We do this by asking God to come into our marriage and show us how to make a plan together. Then, we can vow before God to follow that plan.