I would like to start a new post in which I periodically update everyone on how our marriage is going. This is so that I can openly share in a very real way how we’ve grown and also what we’re still working on. I also would like to use these posts to encourage all of you to update us on your life in the comments below. I pray that doing this will join us as a community of wives that are here for each other. I pray that it also helps hurting wives let go of some of that pain by sharing it with others who truly care. I thank God for each one of you. I am praying for you as you fight for your marriage.
Additionally, please check out the new page Ask My Husband.
Our marriage overall is going pretty good. We have grown so much in the past year. I am beginning to trust my husband a lot more as he is showing that he is trustworthy in many things. Right now he is feeling really strong in defeating lust daily. He prays and reads the Bible each morning. This reassures me because I know he is drawing close to God. Together we are reading the Bible and praying at night. We are actively working on being open with each other. I know I’ve said before that honesty with difficult things is the hardest thing for my husband.
I feel like I am growing in this marriage. I have to say that I still have really hard days and moments. It’s hard for me to accept that the man I love so dearly chose unfaithfulness. I don’t know if we ever really accept this. I think we learn to put our love and hope in God to overcome this. The thing that I am probably struggling the most with is assuming what is going on in my husband’s heart. I often jump ahead and dwell on what he is thinking in regards to lust. For example, I assume he is being unfaithful in his heart. I know that I have to give this area to God. I just have to let it go. That is my hardest thing. I overthink things instead of drawing close to God. I know I should be praying for my husband, but it is hard. It is always hard for me to hear the ways that he is turning away from lust. My natural instinct is to think, “why are you even tempting by this anyway? Aren’t I enough for you?” Those are the things that I know I need to grow in.
I think we are doing a much better job in communicating difficult things. That is for both of us. My husband is doing better at being open and I am doing better at receiving what he tells me.
The best part of all of this is that my husband is so close to God. He has turned away from so many sins. That is truly a blessing. But, as you all know-the memories are hard. They are so hard for us wives.