Why?

writing

Why would I openly share my personal, painful, devastating story to everyone in the world? You may be wondering this. I’ll explain why.

Walking through this journey, I felt many different things. However, one thing in particular always stood out. Alone. I am completely alone. There was no one I could tell. I didn’t have my husband anymore. How could he ever understand or care when he was the one who caused all this hurt. My love and my best friend. I know many times I’ve even said out loud, “I am all alone.” I just wanted one person who could understand and relate to what I was going through. I wanted one other wife to come up to me and say, “I’m going through this too with my husband.” But we don’t do that.

It is my prayer that women coming to this site will know that they are not alone. We can share our stories and pray for one another. We can see God restore our marriages and heal our hurts.

For three years, I lived silently day to day in pain. Even though my husband is repentant and sorry as can be, he will never know this pain. He will never understand. Only the wives who have been here truly know.

So, now is the time for me to openly share my story. And to anyone who comes here hurting and hopeless, please know that you do not walk alone.

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2 thoughts on “Why?

  1. Thank you so much for starting this blog. I feel exactly the same way that you did/do: Alone. Every day, utterly and completely alone. My husband has struggled with pornography for 40 years. He is now 53 and I have just turned 40. We have been through so much over the past 11 years of marriage, and I just recently found out that he’s gone back into pornography. He has been looking at it on his phone then deleting everything, and lying to me about it. I know all this because our accounts are linked and I have access to his data package. What hurts the most is the fact that he is lying to me to try and cover up his sin. I am faced once again with confronting him. I plan on doing that this weekend when he comes back home(he spends 4 days in a hotel each week due to job requirements). I can no longer continue to go through this. I am going to give him an ultimatum. He must get some help and accountability, be honest and open with me in all things, or I will separate. Please pray for us that our marriage will be restored, and that he will be willing to repent and turn away from this sin that has destroyed our lives.

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  2. Hi Eimiyume,
    Thank you for your kind words. I am praying for you and your marriage. I know this is such a long, discouraging road and very often lonely. I pray God is with you and gives you strength through this.

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