I recently received this question from a wife:
There was recently an episode last week in which my husband lied to me. We have accountability talks each week where we discuss struggles, temptations, etc.
During this time he reported that he had been tempted to look at a provocative picture online but didn’t because he loves me and knows that it is not worth it. I had a feeling to check his internet history and found that he had actually looked at the image. I am struggling with how to resolve the issue of lying and how we can work together to be more open, honest and also what we can do to set boundaries. He admitted he lied but says it is because he wanted to avoid my reaction. I was hoping you could give some godly advice.
A wife recently asks this question:
If he messes up one time it just takes my mind down the road again. That is when I do not know when to confront him or not. How long do you let a slip go? Or what level do you confront? I mean, you shouldn’t talk to him about every single slip up, right? What do you do? I guess that is my main question… when to confront and have “the conversation” and when not to?
One wife recently asked the following question:
I have been married for two years to my husband. He is a recovering alcoholic who just celebrated 6 years of sobriety. About a year into our relationship I discovered a lot of porn use and other online stuff that was extremely addictive in appearance. When I first asked him about this he lied about it, even when I could show the search history the lies continued. Eventually he admitted that he had been looking at porn, etc. We struggled for a solid year after with lies, deception, etc. Went to counseling which helped immensely in our relationship. He has been open for the past year to creating trust, so we know all our accounts, have minimized social media etc. Even though he has proved trustworthy for the past year I struggle with believing him. I don’t understand how this can be an addiction one minute and then over the next. Maybe I need to give god more credit for the transformation.
Lately we have really struggled with intimacy. I always initiate sex, he rarely wants to have sex, and emotionally he struggles with intimacy as well. I am wondering what has helped you build intimacy in your marriage that your husband was open too?