An Update on My Marriage: My Husband Decided to go to Counseling


Periodically, I try to give an update on how my marriage has been currently. I talk a lot about past struggles, but I think it’s also important to share where we are today.

If you would like to read my last update, please click here.

My husband decided to go to a counselor. I have been frequently asked if my husband goes to counseling or if he has an accountability partner. Many wonder why he does not have an accountability partner. I think he would personally like to have one. However, he has not met someone yet that he feels he can share the details of his life with.

Because of this, we decide it’s best to share our lives, thoughts, temptations, and struggles with each other. However, due to several reasons, he has started going to counseling weekly.

As my husband started to deal with his struggle with pornography, he began to see other things in his life more clearly. His eyes were opened to all of the addictions in his life. Some of these included drinking and smoking.

Over these years he has come to huge aspects of his personality and character that are stumbling blocks to his life. I think this is common with those who struggle with pornography. They use pornography as an outlet to avoid the many dangerous parts of their coping mechanisms. Is this true with your husband? My husband found so many layers of things to work through that, at times, he wanted to give up.

He found pain from his past. He felt overwhelming guilt. He has so much regret. But, by far, the biggest struggle he has now is anger.

Anger can be so awful. I know this to be true in my own life. My husband has been working through all this stuff and his reaction is anger. He has talked through so many things with me, but it’s at the point now where we both just can’t process it all. He has so much regret. When things in life remind him of how he’s failed us in the past, he is overcome with anger. This is why he decided to go to counseling.

He has been going for a couple of months now. He is truly thankful for it more than he would have imagined. He loves being able to talk confidentially to a complete stranger (that has no connection to his life) about anything that’s deeply bothering him. My husband feels like he has never been truly open to anyone in his life besides me and this is helping him so much. He really needed to release all of the emotions and thoughts he has.

Additionally, he is learning different strategies for when he is feeling angry and like a failure.

I can see a difference in how he is handling life. I think this can be really good for the husband who is trying to pour everything onto his overwhelmed wife. If your husband is feeling stressed or sad by all the changes in his life, this might help him too.

As for me, I’ve been going through a very busy season of life. I am trying to find ways to slow down a little and stay focused on God. I am praying for each one of you.

In the comments below, would you like to update us on your marriage? How are things going? Have you had similar experiences with anger or counseling? I’d love to pray for you. Please share your thoughts.


5 thoughts on “An Update on My Marriage: My Husband Decided to go to Counseling

  1. I have been going to counseling for several months now and I love it. There is such freedom in being able to share the innermost parts of your heart, and to be reaffirmed my someone who doesn’t have to like you or whatever. My counselor is truly a silver lining to this struggle with my husband. I am stronger than I ever have been and I am consistently learning new things about myself. I hope that in time the stigma around counseling would break and people would feel freer to get the help they need.


  2. dear Robi, I am praying for you and your husband, we have been getting counseling for over a year now individually and together, my husband is very quiet and it is hard for him to talk and open up and since your husband is more outgoing I am sure it will be a blessing for him, thank you for all your prayers and encouragement over this last year. God bless you and your family!


  3. Counseling can be such a wonderful tool for individuals and for marriages. Everyone has things in their life that need to be talked about so you can move past them and sometimes you just aren’t comfortable discussing it with anyone you know. So glad that your husband has decided to go to counseling and get the help he needed.


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