If you would like to read previous Restoring Marriages Bible Studies, please click here.
Psalm 30:5 says
Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.
In marriage, we all go through times of sorrow. This is true for life in general. We all go through moments of sorrow. Right now, your marriage may be living in sorrow. Even if you are rebuilding, you may be caught in sorrow.
Obviously the hurt that comes to a wife after she finds out about her husband’s problem with pornography and lust affects the whole family. The family is now going through an unexpected crisis. And this impacts everyone in the family.
A reader asked if I would comment on the impact that this has on our children. She left this suggestion on the page Feedback from Readers. This is a great way to ask questions or to suggest ideas for future posts.
I would like to share with you a group I have started on Facebook. This group is for wives who are hurting from their husbands pornography use or unfaithfulness. It is a “secret” group on Facebook. This means that no one can see the posts or the names of the people in the group except group members.
I thought it would be a really good time to give an update on my marriage because things are going well. My last two updates dealt with some rough issues. If you missed them, you can read the first one here and the second one here.
We did experience one difficulty this past week. My husband chose to break a boundary that we have in our marriage. The boundary is that he will not be alone in a closed room with another woman. We learned this boundary in the book Hedges. It really is such a great book. It was helpful in opening my husband’s eyes to how openly he was living his life. Once we read the book together, it was obvious why certain boundaries are needed in marriage. It was also obvious how a lack of boundaries had led to many of the problems we were facing.
I would like to start a new set of posts that help us meditate on scripture. When we are going through a crisis in marriage and seeking God to restore that marriage, it is essential that we are in the Word of God.
That is why I would like to focus on verses that bring us closer to God. Sometimes when you’re reading your Bible, a verse might stand out to you that just comforts your heart so greatly. This is when God is speaking to you.
Please read Psalm 9:10
And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; for You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You. (NKJV)
If you would like to read my story from the beginning and the reason why I am writing about this please see the Sharing My Story Page.
Sharing My Story: God’s Faithfulness in My Pain
After my husband told me the painful confession about his co-worker, I think I was in shock. I remember feeling thankful to God that he finally admitted some truth to me. However, I didn’t feel any pain for a few days. I think I was really just so shocked that my loving husband would actually pursue another woman. He really lived a true double life. I would like all of you to know that if this has happened in your marriage, I understand. I know that you never thought this would happen to you. I had honestly believed that we were in love and that my husband would never even look at another woman. Words cannot explain the shock that I was experiencing since the beginning of this journey.
After I felt this shock, I began to feel so very alone. My husband was the one that I went to with everything. He was my love and my best friend. And he had hurt me so deeply. Yes, he was very ashamed. He was very repentant. He felt very guilty. But, none of that changed how alone I felt. I didn’t know anyone I could talk to that would understand. I also looked for a website where women could connect with each other if they were experiencing this. That is why I know God is blessing this site. Almost every woman I have met through this site has told me how alone she feels in this. This is because the hurt is from the sin of our husbands. And that makes the pain more unbearable. Additionally, most women are too embarrassed to talk about this. It is a deep rejection.
This is a prayer for the wife who has been hurt from her husband’s pornography use.
I come to You today to commit to trusting in You. God, You alone are the only One that I can completely trust. There have been many times that I did not know if I could trust what You are doing in my life. I am confused and often angry at these circumstances. Continue reading
Can a wife actually help her husband end a porn addiction?
Many marriages are ending due to the effects of pornography. The marriages that are staying together after a pornography addiction are spending years to heal and rebuild trust. Husbands are being trapped in this powerful temptation. Many men see no way out of porn. Many women are hopeless to even try to help their husbands.
We just got back from our family vacation. It was really nice to relax and spend time together. I had very limited internet access while I was away, which made it even more relaxing because I was able to do “nothing” and rest!
When I was able to read the comments on the last post, I thought of a few things. First, I was reminded that there are many wives who are deeply hurting. Like I do many times, they feel alone and scared. They have no idea what to do. Then, I thought of the main reason I started this site. It is and always will be:
Hope and Healing for Hurting Wives
There can be so much hurt in a marriage. There are times when there is a loss of hope. Many times readers will ask, “Yeah, but what if my husband is still watching porn?” This is a very hard question to answer.