A Valentine’s Day Gift from the Wife of a Pornography Watcher

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I know we’ve all been hearing a lot about the upcoming Valentine’s Day. I’ve seen many posts offering unique gifts for your spouse. Some of these have great suggestions. However, if you’re like me, there may have been times that Valentine’s Day was painful. Many of you are struggling to rebuild your marriage. Some of you are feeling hopeless with the cycle of your husband’s lust.

There have been a few Valentine’s Days that brought me deep sadness. But, this year, I’d like to offer a post with some hopeful gifts for your husband. The first year after I found out about my husband’s pornography viewing and unfaithfulness, I felt awful. I couldn’t think about getting him the usual mushy-type gifts. This is why I think Valentine’s Day can be a nice opportunity to give him a gift of encouragement. Some gifts can bring us closer to each other and the Lord. Of course, if you’re working toward reconciliation, still give him the gift you know he’ll love.

So, here are some gifts to provide your marriage with hope. Some of these I’ve given to my husband.

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5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself – When You Don’t Have Time to Take Care of Yourself

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There have been many difficult things for me since I discovered my husband’s pornography use. One of those things is taking care of myself.

I have been greatly encouraged by the blog CalmHealthySexy.com by Gaye Groover Christmus. She shares so many healthy ideas. Today she is going to share some of those ideas with our community.

I’m honored that Robi asked me to share some ideas with you, and I thank you for welcoming me into this place of prayer, respite and community. I know that many of you are dealing with very difficult circumstances in your marriages, and I am praying for you as I write this.

Women often find it difficult to take care of themselves. More than likely, you find yourself in that position too. Maybe all of your time and energy are consumed by caring for others, leaving little time or energy for you. Maybe you’re facing situations that just seem overwhelming, and self-care seems like an impossible luxury. Maybe you don’t even realize that your body, mind and spirit need some tender loving care. Or maybe you just don’t believe that you deserve it.

If that’s the case, the thing I want to say to you today is this: You are a beautiful and valuable daughter of the King. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. You need and deserve to care for your body, mind and spirit. You are worth it.

I know it’s hard to care for yourself when you’re caring for your children, managing your home, homeschooling, working, and juggling other responsibilities. And when you add tremendous marriage stress to the mix, it may seem impossible.

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An Update

Hi Everyone!

I want you all to know that I am praying for everyone that comes to this site and thinking of each person. We just moved on Saturday! Things are really busy now and our computer is still not set up! So that is why I haven’t posted yet this week. Once we’re unpacked a little and set up, I’ll be back to my regular posts! In the meantime, please share any prayer requests you have.

Helpful Books: 52 Things

                    

52 Things Husbands Need from their Wives and 52 Things Wives Need from their Husbands by Jay Payleitner are two very helpful books.

After I found out that my husband was viewing pornography, I realized my marriage was not what I thought it was. After I got past the initial shock and sadness, I wanted to actively work on my marriage. One way that I work on my marriage is by reading with my husband. We do this by first and foremost reading the Bible. The Bible should be our number one reading material always. We read the Bible together and separately. There are also many books that can help us grow together as a couple and individually. So, I started my search for great books that will help us both grow closer to God and closer to each other. I would like to start sharing in detail the books that I love and that have helped both my husband and myself.

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