When Your Husband Isn’t Doing the Right Thing


I recently posted When Thoughts Trouble You. This post was about overcoming those difficult, satanic thoughts that come to us. One comment mentioned that this is easier when your husband is doing the right thing. That is, of course, right. It is so much easier to follow God and overcome our thoughts when our husband is following God himself. It helps when he is living out a faithful, loving lifestyle. But, what can you do if your husband is not? How can you grow and heal through God? And how can you help guide your husband to God? I would like to talk about some suggestions in this post.

First, I would like to explain that my husband did not instantly follow God after I found out about his pornography addiction and unfaithfulness. If you are new to this site, you can read more about my story here. I just want to let you know that it was a very long time before my husband followed God and was completely repentant. Looking back, it really happened in small parts. God uncovered each thing one at a time. God showed us both the area we needed to grow in. And that was the area we worked on. We are never a completed process. But, we are continually working to grow closer to God and each other.

Sometimes when wives read my posts and my guest posts, they comment or ask how my husband instantly came to God or how my marriage was restored “over night”. This is really far from the truth and I want all of you to know that God has worked slowly to bring my marriage where it is today. I am starting to see how this is part of God’s plan too. It would be impossible to immediately fix all the things that were hurt and broken in both of us. Usually, God’s way is to gently draw us closer to him. I am going to continue sharing how we both got to the place we are today. But, for this post, I just want to focus on a few important points.

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Covenant Eyes

Covenant Eyes is an internet filtering program. I have Covenant Eyes in my house on our phones, iPad, and computer. I ended up choosing Covenant Eyes for several reasons. First, I will explain how we came about having internet filtering,

When I first found out that my husband had been watching pornography regularly, I no longer had ease in my house. I knew we had many ways to get on the internet and I was not always right there “watching”. I was very upset when I knew I would be going to bed early or going somewhere. I always thought in the back of my head, “what if he is still watching pornography?” I could no longer trust his word, so I really never knew if he was or was not. I was deeply saddened to think that I could not ask my husband such as simple question as, “what were you doing on the internet?” and receive an honest answer.

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