Can a wife actually help her husband end a porn addiction?
Many marriages are ending due to the effects of pornography. The marriages that are staying together after a pornography addiction are spending years to heal and rebuild trust. Husbands are being trapped in this powerful temptation. Many men see no way out of porn. Many women are hopeless to even try to help their husbands.
It was three and a half years ago that I discovered my husband was addicted to pornography. I had been looking through his phone when I stumbled upon deleted still screens of images from porn websites. It came to me as a total shock. My husband had meticulously deleted all traces of his addiction for ten years. I never even knew he had a problem with lust. This crisis in our marriage set forth many months of difficulties.
I have had so many various emotions after discovering my husband was addicted to pornography three years ago.
- I had times of sadness and depression that would last for days. I was often confused and hopeless.
- Then there were times when I was thankful and happy that God led me to this discovery. I was joyful and blessed that my marriage was being restored.
- I was excited, at times, that my husband was becoming a new man.
But, the emotion that I feared the most—because it had total control of me, was anger.
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After ten years of marriage, I discovered that my husband had a secret addiction to pornography. I was completely clueless about this addiction. After knowing that I wanted to stay married to him, I knew we had a lot of work to do in our marriage. Before this discovery I realized that we were living in a fake relationship. In other words, we were two broken people that kept our true selves hidden. We thought we were in love and that we had a wonderful marriage. However, underneath this, we were both suffering.
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If you have discovered that your husband views pornography, you are probably deeply hurt. Most likely, you are crushed. If you’re like me, you feel hopeless, lost, and worthless.
That’s how I felt three and a half years ago. That was when I discovered my husband of ten years was addicted to pornography. I remember it being just a regular day, taking care of the kids. Then I stumbled upon something on his phone that forever changed my life. I saw a deleted still screen from a pornographic website. I was shocked. I wondered how this could possibly be true. I knew everything about my husband, right? I knew the heart of this man. I was in love with this man! How could he be hiding such a secret?
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I have been silent for three years. I went every single day never telling a single person about the troubles I was going through. Deep inside, I was hurting with excruciating pain. Pain I never thought I would experience. You are probably wondering why I was silent. The reason is my husband was addicted to pornography. This secret, hidden, humiliating sin brings shame and scorn to anyone who mentions it. That is why I was silent. God has opened my heart and told me that it’s time to share my story.
Finish reading this article at Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood