I thought it would be a really good time to give an update on my marriage because things are going well. My last two updates dealt with some rough issues. If you missed them, you can read the first one here and the second one here.
We did experience one difficulty this past week. My husband chose to break a boundary that we have in our marriage. The boundary is that he will not be alone in a closed room with another woman. We learned this boundary in the book Hedges. It really is such a great book. It was helpful in opening my husband’s eyes to how openly he was living his life. Once we read the book together, it was obvious why certain boundaries are needed in marriage. It was also obvious how a lack of boundaries had led to many of the problems we were facing.
The situation happened when my husband was at work. He did not know what to do and felt very nervous, but he chose to do nothing. He knew it was a boundary that we had. In that moment, he chose to break the boundary instead of being uncomfortable and telling the woman he worked with about the boundary.
I was upset that he made that choice. However, I was not as upset as I have been in the past. This is because he told me about it as soon as he could. I know I have shared in the past that he has a huge difficulty with being honest. So, this shows me how much he has grown in this area. In the past, he would have never told me that this had even happened.
Additionally, by keeping calm I was able to talk with him. I explained to him that I was hurt. We were able to discuss what he should say if it happens again. We also talked about how important the boundaries in our marriage are. I then told him how well he is keeping all the other boundaries.
Sometimes, I choose anger and I let that emotion take over. But, this time I did not. I am really glad that I did not. When I step back and look at the whole picture, I know my husband is really repentant and he is trying so hard. So, I decided it was better to move on and not dwell on this. I am having faith that he knows the mistake and will work hard to make sure it does not happen again.
I think this has brought us to a period of closeness. I noticed that because I did not have an outrage over that situation, my husband has been sharing things with me a little bit more freely. I also think that because I didn’t get overly upset, I am able to listen to what he wants to share with me. We all know as wives that hearing about our husband’s struggle with lust is just hard! But, if we can get to a place where we can listen and help our husbands, our marriage will benefit.
The point is that my husband is going through this battle every day whether I know about it or not. I would rather know about his life and be there with him. We lived too many years with him living alone in sin. I am thanking God for where we are now.
We have been reading the Bible and praying together. I want to share with all of you again how important this is. If your husband is willing, pray together every night over your marriage. Read the Bible and talk about your days. It can be the starting point of your marriage being restored. If he is not willing, you can still start doing this alone. Make a time to read and pray for your husband.
I am praying for all of you. I pray that God is working in your life. May you feel His comfort.
Would you like to share how your marriage is going? Have you learned anything? Are you growing together? Are you having a rough time? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
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