There were many years that I had a tough time with Father’s Day. I was confused and wondered, “How do I celebrate my husband as a father when he has participated in such an awful sin that is certainly not honorable?” To be honest, I really didn’t want to celebrate the holiday for him at all. If it were up to me, I would just ignore it completely. But then that wouldn’t be fair to my children. That wouldn’t be fair to my husband either because I was willingly working to restore our marriage. So how could I approach this day in a way that was genuine? I didn’t want to spend the day “faking” happiness. Maybe you have felt this way or you even feel this way right now. You might be tempted to use Father’s Day as a day to show your husband everything he is not. You might want to take all your hurt out on him and explain all the ways he’s lacking as a father and husband. You might want to make him feel some of the pain and disgust that you feel inside. The problem with all of that is it’s not God’s way.
Please take a moment and read John 10:10
The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. (NKJV)
Meditate on that verse and ask God to speak to your heart. What does that verse mean? How can it apply to your marriage? How can it apply to how you view your life?
This verse shows us that there is a power against us that wants the worst for us. In your marriage, this means to have only devastation. It means to be stuck in misery and the past. Satan wants to steal from you that happiness and restoration that your marriage can have. Each time that you stay stuck in your painful memories of the terrible things your husband has done is a victory for Satan. He wants to keep you there so that neither you nor your husband will ever grow closer to God.
However, Jesus came to change that. Jesus came into our hearts and our marriage to give life. He wants to take your horrible, deceptive, disgusting marriage and make it something new. He wants your joy to be abundant. He can bring new life to your marriage today. It really can happen. This doesn’t mean that it happens immediately. It will take hard work and a commitment to follow God each day. But it is worth so much more than the alternative. The alternative is following Satan’s evil lies to stay in the past.
Today is Father’s Day. Satan wants to even rob your family of this day. If you follow this path and use this day to punish your husband, Satan will win. It might feel like you are winning for a moment, but really you will have lost. I know this because there were many things in my life that I used to “punish” my husband for the awful things he did to our marriage. In the end, they never made me feel better. They never brought my marriage restoration. And they never brought me close to God. I always felt alone, dark, and afraid.
God’s plan is that you give your husband a second chance. I want you to know that a second chance never means that your husband can do anything he wants without consequences or boundaries. A second chance means that you let him grow closer to God and prove himself to you as a new man. It’s so hard to get away from the painful memories of the past. But, it’s the whole reason that Jesus came. Please read John 10:10 again. Know that Jesus came so that you can have life and truly live it abundantly. Giving your husband that second chance is really the best Father’s Day you could give him.
I’m praying for all of you today. Please let us know how you’re doing or if you have any specific prayer requests.