Often when I am feeling deeply troubled over the past, I have a difficult time thinking clearly. My anger and fear become incredibly overwhelming. Typically, it is hard to follow God during those emotional times.
When I am feeling this way I sometimes don’t know where to turn. My own voice of hatred, disgust, and sorrow directs me in the wrong path. This is when it is crucial for me to hear God. I have to be able to hear His voice and understand His will for my life. The best way to do this is to read the words of Jesus from the Bible. In Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John we can hear exactly what Jesus said and advised.
In my most sorrowful moments, I opened the book of John to read what Jesus would possibly say right to me. During this meditation, I could understand Jesus’ will for my life and the direction He wanted me to take. He did not want me to treat my husband with vengeance. He does not want me to hold on to the bitter wounds of the past.
Each day He is molding me to be more like the loving, forgiving, graceful God that He is. It is the more difficult path. But, it is the path God wants me to walk.